A Metamorphosis on 12.12.12.

I read a few lines of an entry that I posted a few months ago and I must say that I experienced the "Oh no... Did I really write that?" moment. It has a been a while since I have posted on this site and I feel different. I might not be older by an obscene amount, but I feel that I have changed greatly. I am not that little push over anymore. I have learned how to say no and it feels great and horrible at the same time. I haven't been able to completely grow out of my childish bad habits, though. I still feel weak when someone offends me. I still procrastinate horribly to avoid situations that I'm afraid of and if I'm not mistaken, I have become meaner. Since I've become meaner, though, I've been able to focus on my happiness more than on other's happiness. My niche is not to make others happy but to make myself happy.

We intertwined. :)

 I know that my time of being a child is approaching its end and I'm frightened to think of the future. Of course my future will be filled with change and with change comes hardships and prosperities but I find the concept frightening  It is like looking into a crystal ball but not having the powers to actually see the future. I turned 17 a month ago and, to be honest, I felt melancholy about it. One more year and I will migrate to a city full of strangers full of hostility and distance.

Prom is playing in my head.

I have classified people into 3 groups. These groups are: the passionate hard workers, the lazy and talented, and the passionate and talented. Out of these three groups, my favorite are the passionate hard workers. These people are the ones who are not the most talented. They are not naturally born with skills. They work to achieve their success. It is so overwhelming sometimes to be a hard worker who just isn't good enough. Everywhere that I look, I see a hard worker sink into the shadow of a naturally talented person. That happens so often. It makes me sick but that is the ugly truth. There will always be people who take their talents for granted. One must only continue to work hard and never give up.

It would be wonderful to sleep through problems.

One of my biggest fear is failure. The fact that my mind is consumed with the thought of failure leads me to believe that I am slowly going downhill. Nothing has been the same this year. I have felt numb for  a few months because I found out that my ultimate goal had been crushed to pieces. The quality of my activities dwindled and I lost my way. I forgot what I had been striving for my entire life. The only thing saving me from great depression was a special person, well that special person and Gossip Girl and food and a friend or two, haha. (So much for ONE thing...)

I'm trying to finish this entry before the date changes. D:

One last thing...  I feel in love with the show, Gossip Girl. It is full of drama and surprise. Those are the two elements that can make a show interesting to me. To top it off, it has an amazing love story. The love story is so rocky. I do not know how the relationship survives but it does. :) I will explain more later.

A book is an escape.

Today is 12.12.12. I usually do not make a fuss about events like these, but it is a big deal. I'm glad that I could be part of this. I might never see a repeated date again and I want to make sure that I take advantage of the opportunity that I have. THE WORLD WILL NOT END..... hopefully.

I will post music, shows, pictures, and celebrities that I find amusing on the next entry.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

G&M Magazine

G&M Magazine

Well, this is the link to a magazine that two talented ladies are trying to get started. They have a bright future ahead. Go support! :)

Free bird.

I have not written anything on here in a few months. :o Wow, he he. Well, not much has changed. I do not think that I have changed much.

Rock this way. :o

I am currently watching a show called, "100 Greatest Artists of All Time." I wonder if Lil Wayne is going to be in one of those shows in a few decades. I don't have anything against Lil Wayne or rappers  but I don't think they are setting a very good example for little kids. -.- Who wants a drug addict who sings about drugs and sex as a role model for their kids? I don't like what is happening to rap music nowadays but then again I wonder if people thought this decades ago. Maybe I will learn to appreciate that music in a few years.

Make today a sunny day. :D

I am going to San Antonio in a few days. I am really excited because I'm going with awesome people. :) They are the seniors. I do not know if they know this but I admire them greatly. They laugh about everything and do not worry what anybody says. I will be cool like them when I am a senior. :D I will miss them greatly. I hope their dreams come true.

There are things you cannot change.

Something that I really dislike is the urgency that people have to fit in. People do not need to state to the world that they are doing drugs. Why would anybody care? Making it obvious that you do drugs is just ruining your image. After high school ends and the real world begins, it will not be so "cool" to be known as a junkie. If you really like to do that, it is your business but do not ruin your image and your life. Think before you do something!

The Notorious BIG. :o

AH! I wish I could time travel. I really want to know what it was like to live in the 1920s-1980s. I would love to meet some writers from the 1920s and attend the famous parties decorated with jazz music. I would LOVE to attend a Queen concert. I would love to meet Albert Einstein and touch his famous hair. It would be amazing if somebody figured out a way to time travel.

I have yet to attend a rock concert.

I believe that society is regressing greatly. ( Yes, I just learned what regressing meant.) Children are not reading anymore and priorities are changing. Children no longer want books. Children only want video games and iPods. Even devices created for reading include applications to play games or enter social networking sites. I think that little kids shouldn't have so much access to all these devices that stop them from thinking. D: They should be able to play games once in a while, but they should also be exposed to things that will enable their minds to think.

I want to live life like Audrey Hepburn.

I have been thinking lately about my future. I hope that I am cut out to survive in the world. I am afraid of how  I will react to moving out. I know that I am always wishing to move out of my house, but when the moment comes, I know I will not like it. I will miss my parents and their constant orders to clean my room or to stop being lazy. I hope that the shock is not so great and that I can carry on with my life like every person must.

One day I will drive around the country without a destination.

I think that the best popcorn is the one sold at the movies. I am going to buy a popcorn machine when I grow up. :)

Green gatorade is freaking good.

'Til then, penguin