I need a map.

I have become a person very different from my former self. I do not care about people as much as I used to. Before, I used to ravish in the idea of meeting new people. The truth is that I am not a person that people categorize as "worth-meeting." I stay quiet and cause awkward situations with my odd sense of humor. I do not find people funny at all and my ability is to tell jokes is poor. When I do meet someone that is funny enough for me, I do not know how to react. Of course my first reaction is to laugh, but I think I overdo it. My social skills are not all there.

The truth is melancholy.

I have figured that some people are more genetically gifted than others, duh. These people will glide through life no matter where they go. I find that unfair, but, of course, everything is unfair. Even the genetically condemned give in to the beauty of the the gifted. No wonder the most beautiful survive. It will always be like this. Nothing will ever change.

My internet has a talent. It angers me.

Reading does not give me the escape that it used to. I used to read to escape from my monotonous life, but I can't escape anymore. My attention span has shrunken greatly and I cannot concentrate on a piece of literature at all.  Maybe I just haven't found the right book yet. I am a very picky reader. I usually only settle for fantasy romance stories where the girl is strong willed but weakened by her love. I love typical love stories.

I am awake at 5 AM writing a blog that will not be read.

I think my ability to sleep at night has dwindled. I am awake at 5 AM and I am not even sleepy. The sad part is that I have been  bored all night. There has been nothing extraordinary about tonight. I spent it playing Plants vs. Zombies, watching Gossip Girl, and consuming an excess amount of lipids. Maybe what is really keeping me up at night is my head. I have not been able to stop thinking about school. My thoughts consume me and unfortunately the thoughts aren't optimistic. I have become mediocre at everything.  I can never be the best at something without imploding. The only thing bringing me down is me. I bathe in self pity for nothing.

Chuck Bass is a blessing.

Sometimes I wish that I didn't care. People who don't care are free from having to meet expectations. Everyday I think that I might be talented but then I remember that there are millions of people out there with a thousand times more talent and training.

I am lost.

I am aware that my blog post is a little dark so I'll post a very sweet picture to lighten the mood.

We'll tango later, chango.